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Messages - vincentdigrero

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Open Board / Must a man be a wreck simply because he's older?
« on: January 03, 2017, 05:32:00 AM »
Throughout my life I've noticed in many of the gay social circles, that the obsession with physical beauty and bodily perfection appears to be the major preoccupation. Perhaps this is more prevalent in places such as bars and clubs. The obsession with youth is also on many peoples minds in both homosexual and heterosexual circles. I can really sympathize with those who may not be valued as beautiful/attractive or the model of an olympian. What is going on here? Do gay, bi, and grero men simply have more of an eye for the beautiful? As we age it gets worse and I'm sure that there are many of us in our golden years who are ignored by the gay community or the straight community.

Throughout my life I have tried to take care of myself for health reasons and for good self-esteem. I think in general that women do a better job in taking care of themselves as they age.  For men, it's a different story. The older male stars, politicians, and the rich might do a better job that just the average "Joe." Just because we are older doesn't mean we have to be falling apart, obese, unkempt, and wearing the most baggy, horrid clothes that we can find. I see this all the time -- an older couple, a man and a woman, where the woman is smartly dressed, good makeup job, dyed hair and maybe even a well preserved body. The man is looking old, washed up, crummy clothes, fat, and frowning. Do heterosexual men view taking care of themselves as a feminine characteristic? Vanity is for women only? We all know that deep down, that men are probably even more vain than women.

It is my belief that as we gays/greros age, we can remain physically beautiful throughout our lives. Sure, we might not look 30 years old anymore, but this is the time that we can let our inner beauty shine through which will project a younger persona. The benefits of staying healthy and well groomed are many. We will have an excellent quality of life as we age and we will feel good and alive -- not a wreck.

Being healthy and alive simply feels good! May you all abound in abundant health!

Acceptance is not an issue with greros because we fit in pretty much with mainstream society. Those of us who are single might get a question about not being married or having children from time to time, but we really can function pretty well if we remain discreet. Where marriage is concerned, there will always be infidelities for a variety of reasons. The haters really don't like to acknowledge that greros exist because they are not identifiable like effeminate guys. Haters want the "enemy" well-defined and recognizable -- this takes the attention off of the haters.

Open Board / My "straight acting" homosexual friend
« on: December 27, 2016, 06:50:29 AM »
I have known this man quite a number of years and he has always puzzled me. He frequents gay bars and will socially get together with other gay friends for dinner and social events. He has always had quite a few lesbian friends as well. He is petrified about anyone, even a stranger, who might perceive him as a "homo." He will definitely not associate with anyone in the gay community who might has the slightest mannerisms or persona of an effeminate. Once we caught a taxi to a gay bar and he had the taxi driver let us off about two blocks from the bar. He will not allow another male friend to hug him when leaving his house in fear that a neighbor might see two guys hugging. While he lives in a nice house, he is allows his house to be dirty and unkempt. I think he sees a clean, tidy home to be a feminine trait. When I visited him the last time (he lives in another state) he made reference to the fact that I liked to keep the dishes washed like a woman does.
From my perspective, I think this would be a very lonely life. Someone with this attitude could never have any real, close friends who are heterosexual for fear that he would be found out. My heterosexual friends (male and female) all know of my sexuality and it helps with my authenticity for real friendship. Discounting the effeminate homosexuals is equally limiting for they can also enrich all of our lives.

Does anyone have any insight on this other than my friend is extremely closeted?

Open Board / How to meet other greros?
« on: December 24, 2016, 06:49:35 AM »
Many would say that going to a gay bar or club would be the answer. This might be true to an extent because one will always meet a guy or two who has bravely entered the club to satisfy their curiosity.
This is an easy question. We will be at the places where so-called "straights" would go -- straight clubs, churches, colleges, sporting events, conservative/liberal political events, coffee houses, gyms and even in the workplaces. Usually one would have to see them more than just for a single event and become somewhat of acquaintances. Call it synergy if you wish, but greros have a way of eventually connecting with one another. The big giveaway is that the grero will generally be alone.

Open Board / Re: Grero, continued
« on: December 24, 2016, 05:47:21 AM »
I agree with you XPlover. It's too bad that this great forum and website has not been more active. There are those of us who happen to be individuals and will not be defined by the LGBT status quo. We simply live our lives without having to be involved with the gay bar syndrome, liberalism, parades, and other outrageous activities. Most of my family and close friends who are "straight" know of my sexual orientation. It is pretty much a non-issue. Recently, I mentioned to a heterosexual woman that I am friends with that, "I would be up the creek if it were not my heterosexual friends." -- Meaning that I have very few homosexual friends. She said, "Well, I would be up the creek also without my gay friends."

Open Board / Re: Now this is my idea of a Guero!
« on: January 18, 2015, 06:12:09 AM »
Is this it?

Yes,  that's the foto I was referring to

Maybe it's late, but I don't get it...

Andkon, my point was that gueros have always been around. I thought the photo with the instructor pointing to an artist's concept of a Cro-magnon man is my kind of guy.


Open Board / Now this is my idea of a Guero!
« on: January 17, 2015, 07:21:57 AM »
Thought I would inject a little humor to this post. Check out this link.;_ylt=AuhBi8u8cPqqo029eR.CFyCbvZx4?fr=yfp-t-901-s&toggle=1&ilc=14&fp=1&cop=mss&ei=UTF-8&p=cro-magnon

Look through the series of pictures and you'll find an instructor pointing to an artist's conception. This is what I was mainly referring to.

Open Board / Re: Introduction
« on: January 15, 2015, 07:25:29 AM »
1.We are masculine depending on the degree.

2.Those who hate the most are they ones who want the male-to-male encounter the most, even if it's just hanging out with the guys for a few brews.

This is a little story: once I knew a southern man who had been in construction all of this life. He was about 45 years old and loved buying drinks for me and talking. He knew the story on me, but he liked me for me. I liked him for him. I'm sure that in the past he had dabbled a bit with other men sexually, but our friendship had to do with mutual respect and admiration. Thanks for your input, Johan.

1. Who is we? And depending on WHAT degree?

2. That is not 100% true. Yes, some of those are bisexual, gay or mostly straight. The idea that homophobes are just simply gays or one of those is complete bullshit. I mean, if they were, then why would they be homophobic? Why would all of  them be against themselves? Where would this self-hatred come from?

This whole like begets like is true TO A DEGREE in personality development, but not 100%. I know of a gay man who had four brothers and was raised by a homophobic father who repeatedly put him down for his effeminate ways still end up as an effeminate gay man as an adult.

1. "We" I am referring to greros. I am masculine. The degree I'm referring to is how we exhibit our maleness in a social setting. There are the Arnold Schwarzneggars, the Brad Pitts, the Rock Hudsons, the Anderson Coopers, to name a few famous personalities I can think of. All of these have a masculine bearing but are different.

Thanks for your input!

Open Board / In whose company do you feel the most comfortable?
« on: January 15, 2015, 07:12:03 AM »
After having been basically raised in a very masculine setting by a very dominating father and two older brothers, I learned rather quickly that my life went better if I followed their examples. Meaning, that earlier as a child that my masculinity didn't seem to come naturally.  As a young adult having been in the military and working in some blue collar jobs with all men, my most comfort lied in my association with the so called working man (blue collar). I have worked in some white collar professional settings, but I've always been most at ease with the down-to-earth so called "working men."

I'm not a psychologist, but I'm wondering if my attraction to men in general stems from the fact that I didn't feel very loved by my father. Has any research been done on this?

What men are you most comfortable with?

Open Board / Re: Introduction
« on: January 13, 2015, 10:17:05 AM »
There's no need for greros to tone it down. We are masculine depending on the degree. Of course, there are heterosexuals out there who have little class. Those who hate the most are they ones who want the male-to-male encounter the most, even if it's just hanging out with the guys for a few brews.

This is a little story: once I knew a southern man who had been in construction all of this life. He was about 45 years old and loved buying drinks for me and talking. He knew the story on me, but he liked me for me. I liked him for him. I'm sure that in the past he had dabbled a bit with other men sexually, but our friendship had to do with mutual respect and admiration. Thanks for your input, Johan.



Are you 100% sure this was the case throughout Ancient Greece? Or not just its city states?

Johan, back then just as it is today, the greros and gays were everywhere. The city-states probably contained more because of sheer number. Just my opinion

I would like to clarify my statement in the 2nd paragraph -- "same sex sex participants" should be "same sex friends"

I'm not looking for sexual activity at this stage in my life. Thanks.

Open Board / My life is meaningful, fulfilling and happy -- regardless
« on: January 10, 2015, 06:19:57 AM »
I don't know exactly if any particular postings are expected on this forum, so I will post with what is on my mind from time to time. I am older, almost 70 years old, and this is a very contented period of my life. In spite of the fact that my younger days contained a lot of turmoil, unhappiness, and persecution, I think it turned out pretty well for me.

Most of my friends are heterosexual and they all know my story. Family members as well. It would be nice to have a few same sex sex participants in my life as well. I do know two close grero friends. For family, I have a couple of close, lovely nieces. There are others in the family who continually challenge me with their unenlightened views of homosexuality.

These days I frankly do not have time to concern myself with those who are in the persecution mode. I know that I can do good works and help make other peoples lives in my community better. My community includes all and that is what contributes the most to my well-being.

Why couldn't we make this forum a place to be supportive for those who are wanting some camaraderie?

Thank you andkon for doing such a great job!

Early, primitive man fascinates me because I like to think upon just how we figured it out and are still trying to figure it out. This post is mainly my opinion and I am not going to give any historical proof or documentation.

Recently I read on an internet website about early tribal societies in Africa. The article stated that in the hunter/gatherer societies that when the men and older boys went on a hunt or a battle with another tribe that if there was a more effeminate male or two in the tribe that the other men would leave such men with the women to help them and also maybe protect them a bit in case wrongdoers might stumble upon the village with nothing but women, children, and old folks. Of course we all know that primitive shamens/witch doctors were mainly homosexual. The key word here is mainly. In my opinion, homosexuals whether greros or gays have been quietly making significant contributions to all societies. I think we all intuitively know this. Many of the great minds, leaders (or leaders' aides), entertainers, artisans, doctors/nurses, athletes, and even theologians have greatly added to the betterment of society. On the other hand, there have been evildoers as well. Religion and other groups have been focusing on the bad. The official party line such groups is that homosexuality is ALL bad. Unfortunately we have gotten all the blame and little credit.

I don't know when the hatred all started with the early Christians or Catholic church, but I think somewhere in the Middle Ages. Possibly is all started in early Judaism when Abraham and Lot made the mistake of becoming residents at Sodom. At any rate, I think homosexuals have always been very firmly entrench in the Catholic church because they are very good at spiritual connections and they basically had no other place to go but the church. The Catholic church exercised a bit of compassion and with the celibacy dictate they took them in.

Recently, I saw the movie, "The Imitation Game" and found it very interesting. A great, homosexual mind invented the computer, so to speak. My computer is acting up a bit so I will close this post for now. Peace to all!

Open Board / Re: Introduction
« on: January 06, 2015, 05:00:22 PM »
I think the reason so many "closet cases" hate man to man sexuality is they have a superstitious belief that any indulgence in this activity will transform a masculine man into a fairy queen. Instead, being around masculinity does the opposite -- it generates more masculinity. Like begats like. I have spent some time in straight, blue collar watering holes in my life and I can certainly attest to the fact that it brings out more masculinity. Also, I think there are varying degrees of masculinity. Thanks for the opportunity to use this forum as a sounding board.

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