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Topics - vincentdigrero

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Open Board / Must a man be a wreck simply because he's older?
« on: January 03, 2017, 05:32:00 AM »
Throughout my life I've noticed in many of the gay social circles, that the obsession with physical beauty and bodily perfection appears to be the major preoccupation. Perhaps this is more prevalent in places such as bars and clubs. The obsession with youth is also on many peoples minds in both homosexual and heterosexual circles. I can really sympathize with those who may not be valued as beautiful/attractive or the model of an olympian. What is going on here? Do gay, bi, and grero men simply have more of an eye for the beautiful? As we age it gets worse and I'm sure that there are many of us in our golden years who are ignored by the gay community or the straight community.

Throughout my life I have tried to take care of myself for health reasons and for good self-esteem. I think in general that women do a better job in taking care of themselves as they age.  For men, it's a different story. The older male stars, politicians, and the rich might do a better job that just the average "Joe." Just because we are older doesn't mean we have to be falling apart, obese, unkempt, and wearing the most baggy, horrid clothes that we can find. I see this all the time -- an older couple, a man and a woman, where the woman is smartly dressed, good makeup job, dyed hair and maybe even a well preserved body. The man is looking old, washed up, crummy clothes, fat, and frowning. Do heterosexual men view taking care of themselves as a feminine characteristic? Vanity is for women only? We all know that deep down, that men are probably even more vain than women.

It is my belief that as we gays/greros age, we can remain physically beautiful throughout our lives. Sure, we might not look 30 years old anymore, but this is the time that we can let our inner beauty shine through which will project a younger persona. The benefits of staying healthy and well groomed are many. We will have an excellent quality of life as we age and we will feel good and alive -- not a wreck.

Being healthy and alive simply feels good! May you all abound in abundant health!

Open Board / My "straight acting" homosexual friend
« on: December 27, 2016, 06:50:29 AM »
I have known this man quite a number of years and he has always puzzled me. He frequents gay bars and will socially get together with other gay friends for dinner and social events. He has always had quite a few lesbian friends as well. He is petrified about anyone, even a stranger, who might perceive him as a "homo." He will definitely not associate with anyone in the gay community who might has the slightest mannerisms or persona of an effeminate. Once we caught a taxi to a gay bar and he had the taxi driver let us off about two blocks from the bar. He will not allow another male friend to hug him when leaving his house in fear that a neighbor might see two guys hugging. While he lives in a nice house, he is allows his house to be dirty and unkempt. I think he sees a clean, tidy home to be a feminine trait. When I visited him the last time (he lives in another state) he made reference to the fact that I liked to keep the dishes washed like a woman does.
From my perspective, I think this would be a very lonely life. Someone with this attitude could never have any real, close friends who are heterosexual for fear that he would be found out. My heterosexual friends (male and female) all know of my sexuality and it helps with my authenticity for real friendship. Discounting the effeminate homosexuals is equally limiting for they can also enrich all of our lives.

Does anyone have any insight on this other than my friend is extremely closeted?

Open Board / How to meet other greros?
« on: December 24, 2016, 06:49:35 AM »
Many would say that going to a gay bar or club would be the answer. This might be true to an extent because one will always meet a guy or two who has bravely entered the club to satisfy their curiosity.
This is an easy question. We will be at the places where so-called "straights" would go -- straight clubs, churches, colleges, sporting events, conservative/liberal political events, coffee houses, gyms and even in the workplaces. Usually one would have to see them more than just for a single event and become somewhat of acquaintances. Call it synergy if you wish, but greros have a way of eventually connecting with one another. The big giveaway is that the grero will generally be alone.

Open Board / Now this is my idea of a Guero!
« on: January 17, 2015, 07:21:57 AM »
Thought I would inject a little humor to this post. Check out this link.;_ylt=AuhBi8u8cPqqo029eR.CFyCbvZx4?fr=yfp-t-901-s&toggle=1&ilc=14&fp=1&cop=mss&ei=UTF-8&p=cro-magnon

Look through the series of pictures and you'll find an instructor pointing to an artist's conception. This is what I was mainly referring to.

Open Board / In whose company do you feel the most comfortable?
« on: January 15, 2015, 07:12:03 AM »
After having been basically raised in a very masculine setting by a very dominating father and two older brothers, I learned rather quickly that my life went better if I followed their examples. Meaning, that earlier as a child that my masculinity didn't seem to come naturally.  As a young adult having been in the military and working in some blue collar jobs with all men, my most comfort lied in my association with the so called working man (blue collar). I have worked in some white collar professional settings, but I've always been most at ease with the down-to-earth so called "working men."

I'm not a psychologist, but I'm wondering if my attraction to men in general stems from the fact that I didn't feel very loved by my father. Has any research been done on this?

What men are you most comfortable with?

Open Board / My life is meaningful, fulfilling and happy -- regardless
« on: January 10, 2015, 06:19:57 AM »
I don't know exactly if any particular postings are expected on this forum, so I will post with what is on my mind from time to time. I am older, almost 70 years old, and this is a very contented period of my life. In spite of the fact that my younger days contained a lot of turmoil, unhappiness, and persecution, I think it turned out pretty well for me.

Most of my friends are heterosexual and they all know my story. Family members as well. It would be nice to have a few same sex sex participants in my life as well. I do know two close grero friends. For family, I have a couple of close, lovely nieces. There are others in the family who continually challenge me with their unenlightened views of homosexuality.

These days I frankly do not have time to concern myself with those who are in the persecution mode. I know that I can do good works and help make other peoples lives in my community better. My community includes all and that is what contributes the most to my well-being.

Why couldn't we make this forum a place to be supportive for those who are wanting some camaraderie?

Thank you andkon for doing such a great job!

Early, primitive man fascinates me because I like to think upon just how we figured it out and are still trying to figure it out. This post is mainly my opinion and I am not going to give any historical proof or documentation.

Recently I read on an internet website about early tribal societies in Africa. The article stated that in the hunter/gatherer societies that when the men and older boys went on a hunt or a battle with another tribe that if there was a more effeminate male or two in the tribe that the other men would leave such men with the women to help them and also maybe protect them a bit in case wrongdoers might stumble upon the village with nothing but women, children, and old folks. Of course we all know that primitive shamens/witch doctors were mainly homosexual. The key word here is mainly. In my opinion, homosexuals whether greros or gays have been quietly making significant contributions to all societies. I think we all intuitively know this. Many of the great minds, leaders (or leaders' aides), entertainers, artisans, doctors/nurses, athletes, and even theologians have greatly added to the betterment of society. On the other hand, there have been evildoers as well. Religion and other groups have been focusing on the bad. The official party line such groups is that homosexuality is ALL bad. Unfortunately we have gotten all the blame and little credit.

I don't know when the hatred all started with the early Christians or Catholic church, but I think somewhere in the Middle Ages. Possibly is all started in early Judaism when Abraham and Lot made the mistake of becoming residents at Sodom. At any rate, I think homosexuals have always been very firmly entrench in the Catholic church because they are very good at spiritual connections and they basically had no other place to go but the church. The Catholic church exercised a bit of compassion and with the celibacy dictate they took them in.

Recently, I saw the movie, "The Imitation Game" and found it very interesting. A great, homosexual mind invented the computer, so to speak. My computer is acting up a bit so I will close this post for now. Peace to all!

Open Board / Introduction
« on: January 06, 2015, 02:40:25 PM »
Thank you andkon for all of you brilliance and thought for the classification of grero. I have read all of the book and will probably re-read it a few time. A new term was desperately needed. I agree with you on may things.

I've maintained that homosexuality is a sliding scale of activity. My scale might coincide with your graph.


1. Heterosexual men who have never participated in any activity with another male and do not want to participate.
2. Heterosexual men who have never participated in any activity with another male but have always wanted to. This is where most of the haters come from.
3. Heterosexual men who have done something once or twice with another male for experimentation such as high school buddies.
4. Heterosexual men who have done something on an infrequent basis may once or twice a year. This is where bisexuality begins.
5. Bisexual men who have sex frequently such as once or twice a month.
6. Greros or gay men who have sex exclusively with men frequently or infrequently

Masculine men are my forte so I am grero. I have always wondered, "why so much hatred?" Religion cannot be blamed for all of this. My answer is that those "heterosexual" men want to fly under the radar and continue to do what has been done since the dawn of man. Blaming gays for all the ills of society of a good way to deflect the attention. It amazes me that we never hear too much about those bisexuals out there who inaccurately fall into the 3 to 5% of LGBT's. We all know this is not correct.

Keep up the good work andkon

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