0048: Grero on Gaybros

[andkon]

Post from gaybros:

Bros, I stumbled on this & I'm digging it so much that I wanna share it before I even finish it. I think you will, too. (self.gaybros)

http://grero.com/ <-- in case the link doesn't work.

From my own experiences and the experiences I know about from other guys (gay, straight, bi, etc.) I've always had a nagging feeling that male sexuality was much more fluid than our current dichotomy of straight vs. gay. That's given, considering the Kinsey scale, but even among us gay guys, we have yet another spectrum that ranges from queens to bros and everything in between. I've always believed that each of our individual personalities are equally deserving of respect, and that's one of the common traits of this particularly community I enjoy. Despite some negative publicity, I've found guys on this subreddit to be mostly the type that acknowledges their own similarities, not trying to crown themselves as the elite of the LGBT community, but instead celebrating our own common interests as equally valuable to any aspect of our community. Most of you guys seem to truly enjoy the bond of other bros, but I think you'd quickly kick a bully's ass for messing with a queen or trans kid, or anyone else in our larger community. Having said that, we even have straight guys who enjoy coming here, which makes sense because many of us have a lot of straight guy friends. And as we gain more acceptance in society, it's kind of an honor to see that we do get a lot of respect from straight men - I can't count the times in recent months I've heard a straight guy say "It's really an ego boost for a gay guy to hit on me, even if I'm not able to reciprocate the attraction." I've always noticed a certain affection among men, regardless of sexuality or where they fall in the gender spectrum. From boys who curiously examine each others' bodies to teen guys who constantly joke and share sexual innuendo, and then after coming out and being shocked by the amount of married men or guys with gf's who enjoyed close relationships with me - sometimes sexual and sometimes not, but always a bond. Reading this page has been a real confirmation of the things I've noticed growing and learning as I have - being a guy who had to severely hide his orientation, but found incredible acceptance from my mostly straight guy friends once I did come out at 27.

I'm only about half done, but I think the article is really hitting on some true points that our culture would love to hide. As men, even men who are more sexually attracted to women, I think the bond between us has been sacrificed by a patriarchal, homophobic culture. I can only imagine a world where that bond, sexual or not, isn't shamed but celebrated. And where young adult men who experiment and learn about themselves and their own relationships to that bond and how their natural attractions work can do so without fear of being condemned, I can't help but think so many issues we face as society such as high divorce rates and fatherless kids, LGBT teen suicide, and bullying - how dramatically would we find ourselves better resolving those issues. I hope you get the time to read this article, and I hope there's some good discussion about it. I think there's an element of truth to it, and that men in our culture are being shamed into repressing too much of what comes natural to us. Straight, bi, gay, all these labels are so inadequate when it comes to human emotion, attraction, and mostly - love. And if this has been posted before, forgive me, as well as for the long-winded introduction. I'm just really enjoying the read.

There actually had been a previous though less receptive thread on gaybros: http://www.reddit.com/r/gaybros/comments/1essx9/some_essential_gaybros_reading_aka_why_being_gay/

[Johan]

I think these gaybros are fake. Gays with a huge inferiority complex about being gay and about the image of gays and try to make themselves feel better by imitating straight guys fully.

Imagine them still addressing each other as BROS in their fifties? Sheesh!

[andkon]

I think these gaybros are fake. Gays with a huge inferiority complex about being gay and about the image of gays and try to make themselves feel better by imitating straight guys fully.

Imagine them still addressing each other as BROS in their fifties? Sheesh!

Yeah, unfortunately, they go out of their way to be politically correct and NOT define what exactly gaybros is. In the sidebar:

Don't ask "What is a Gaybro?" No single answer can satisfy the question.

So it's just another term for straight-acting gay, attracting men who aren't quite masculine thus confirming that gay is feminine thus driving away those who are really masculine. What a shame.

[Johan]

"thus driving away those who are really masculine. What a shame."


What do you mean by that?

[andkon]

Sorry for not getting back sooner.

"thus driving away those who are really masculine. What a shame."


What do you mean by that?

Oftentimes, straight-acting gay just means "not as feminine as other gays." But they're still feminine. This is a problem because I'm quite sure that lots of guys don't want to be with other guys because they don't want to be seen as feminine. So if gay was recognized as feminine AND that it's not the only way to like other men, masculine men would be more likely to consider same-sex relationships.

[Johan]

Oftentimes, straight-acting gay just means "not as feminine as other gays." But they're still feminine. This is a problem because I'm quite sure that lots of guys don't want to be with other guys because they don't want to be seen as feminine. So if gay was recognized as feminine AND that it's not the only way to like other men, masculine men would be more likely to consider same-sex relationships.

I wouldn't really use the word feminine. I'd rather say gay which more or less means gay = effeminate.


So you're saying that they don't want to be with other guys because they don't want to be seen and treated as and lumped with the gays or the LGBTs(freaks, really)???

And which guys are these? The gay ones or the straight on the surface ones but not quite straight in reality?

[andkon]

And which guys are these? The gay ones or the straight on the surface ones but not quite straight in reality?

The latter, the ones that appear straight but would want to try something more perhaps.