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0041: "I find male gay sex to be kind of disgusting" :-)

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andkon:



--- Quote ---What do you think about this situation? I find that I can really respect an academic regardless of creed, perhaps even find myself thinking of enjoying activities with them but not kissing and certainly not sex, I find male gay sex to be kind of disgusting. Where do I fall? I mean, I find the female body to be much more intriguing and seductive but I find the male mind to be more homely, I am not disgusted by the male body, I give it respect in its strength and form, but male love is not something I feel attracted to. What the hell am I?
--- End quote ---

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego-dystonic_sexual_orientation

Fredward:
Sex in general is kind of disgusting when you think about it. I mean you have a choice of three holes, one is filled with bone protrusions which you use to masticate, one bleeds dead womb for a week every month and the other is a shit chute. I've heard the "gay sex is disgusting" comment a bunch of times and I always wonder what exactly they mean by "gay sex." Usually I arrive at anal. And then I wonder if it would still be disgusting if a heterosexual couple had anal? Since that seems to be a ubiquitous fantasy among the straight male market. Or maybe the problem is just the two guys part, it usually is really. In which case the person you're talking to is either a) religious or b) stupid or often c) both. Any kind of logical reasoning is pointless in any of these cases. A steady diet of dogma (either societal or religious [though kinda the same in this case]) and a lack of independent thought usually leads to a fatal case of prejudice.

andkon:

--- Quote ---I mean you have a choice of three holes
--- End quote ---

You're not thinking creatively enough!


--- Quote ---And then I wonder if it would still be disgusting if a heterosexual couple had anal? Since that seems to be a ubiquitous fantasy among the straight male market. Or maybe the problem is just the two guys part, it usually is really.
--- End quote ---

Well, given that lots of straight porn is very anal (especially I notice in America -- maybe circumcised dicks need a tighter hole??), it's not the anal part. And for many, being a top isn't gay (as long as you don't mention it and are homophobic) so I think many men recoil at the thought of being penetrated.

Fredward:

--- Quote from: andkon on August 20, 2013, 09:10:49 PM ---Well, given that lots of straight porn is very anal (especially I notice in America -- maybe circumcised dicks need a tighter hole??), it's not the anal part. And for many, being a top isn't gay (as long as you don't mention it and are homophobic) so I think many men recoil at the thought of being penetrated.

--- End quote ---

And do you think this is tied with the whole fucked = effeminate thing? Was your goal in creating grero to remove that effeminate/submissive connotation? Or like create a new concept where that association never existed? I realize that you do get gay guys that are, by nature, really submissive. They will never be a top, and that's fine. What gets me is that there is this inherent contradiction with looking down (haha) on a bottom. Especially with one that chooses to bottom and isn't necessarily passive or submissive at all. And the contradiction is that the people giving the kinda sneery, superior looks are often those really, really masculine guys. They ARE their masculinity. They will never bend over, they ooze testosterone in a musky halo. But if you're confident in your masculinity, and confidence often goes with masculinity, why is that masculinity lessened by being a bottom? If its a choice how are you less of a man? Why is being with a guy any kind of effeminate? Because one has to be the "woman" in the relationship?

This is a complicated issue though. It ties in with so many other things. Like how society sees women and gender role stereotypes and the heteronormative hegemony. And patriarchy also wiggles in there I suppose if only because patriarchy and heteronormativity seem so linked.

andkon:
Yeah, gay effeminate men stick out of the crowd and getting fucked does not help that association since it's women who get penetrated. Although it's a rather queer odd coincidence that the prostate can be stimulated rather easily. In fact, that may be part of the problem.


--- Quote ---And the contradiction is that the people giving the kinda sneery, superior looks are often those really, really masculine guys. They ARE their masculinity.
--- End quote ---

I've seen within the gay community that it's often those gays who are afraid of their own effeminacy who do the sneering.


--- Quote ---But if you're confident in your masculinity, and confidence often goes with masculinity, why is that masculinity lessened by being a bottom? If its a choice how are you less of a man? Why is being with a guy any kind of effeminate? Because one has to be the "woman" in the relationship?
--- End quote ---

Two strikes you're out? Sex with other men is sort of iffy. If it's down-low, it's not necessarily gay or fem. But if you're open or a bottom, then you incur the wrath. It's a way of reinforcing traditional heteronormative masculinity by squeezing out any competing versions of masculinity.

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