Author Topic: My "straight acting" homosexual friend  (Read 5343 times)

vincentdigrero

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My "straight acting" homosexual friend
« on: December 27, 2016, 06:50:29 AM »
I have known this man quite a number of years and he has always puzzled me. He frequents gay bars and will socially get together with other gay friends for dinner and social events. He has always had quite a few lesbian friends as well. He is petrified about anyone, even a stranger, who might perceive him as a "homo." He will definitely not associate with anyone in the gay community who might has the slightest mannerisms or persona of an effeminate. Once we caught a taxi to a gay bar and he had the taxi driver let us off about two blocks from the bar. He will not allow another male friend to hug him when leaving his house in fear that a neighbor might see two guys hugging. While he lives in a nice house, he is allows his house to be dirty and unkempt. I think he sees a clean, tidy home to be a feminine trait. When I visited him the last time (he lives in another state) he made reference to the fact that I liked to keep the dishes washed like a woman does.
 
From my perspective, I think this would be a very lonely life. Someone with this attitude could never have any real, close friends who are heterosexual for fear that he would be found out. My heterosexual friends (male and female) all know of my sexuality and it helps with my authenticity for real friendship. Discounting the effeminate homosexuals is equally limiting for they can also enrich all of our lives.

Does anyone have any insight on this other than my friend is extremely closeted?

XPlover

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Re: My "straight acting" homosexual friend
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2016, 07:38:51 AM »
He may seem strange and freakish, but I think there's a great spectrum out there of commitment to gayness, from totally absolutely closeted and self-denying (even straight-living) to living from Outfest to Outfest. 

andkon

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Re: My "straight acting" homosexual friend
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2017, 02:10:45 AM »
Guy seems very paranoid. A lot of SSA guys are in reality feminine but want to appear masculine. Maybe it's just that he "thou protest too much." If it's in an area not open to SSA, it could also be that he is genuinely masculine but doesn't want to face the negative repercussions.

XPlover

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Re: My "straight acting" homosexual friend
« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2017, 11:19:53 PM »
SSA, andkon?

andkon

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Re: My "straight acting" homosexual friend
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2017, 05:34:52 AM »
SSA, andkon?

Same-sex attracted. Not a fan of homosexuality/bisexuality as a label, many don't identify that way, etc.

ciji88

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Re: My "straight acting" homosexual friend
« Reply #5 on: February 19, 2017, 05:45:36 PM »
Poor guy, maybe he is just scared of this part of his sexuality? Maybe some kind of trauma from a childhood? No idea... If you consider him as a friend you should talk with a bit about it.